


Nightmares

by marbie20



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 10:45:56
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15580236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marbie20/pseuds/marbie20
Summary: Jeremy has an occurring nightmare about the SQUIP and calls Michael, who comes to his aid.





	Nightmares

Jeremy woke up gasping. He placed a hand to his chest and tried to slow down his pulse. He took three deep breaths and then laid back down. He rubbed his eyes with his palms and sighed. His nightmares had been going on since the SQUIP episode and they seemed to be getting worse. Every time he closed his eyes, he was back in the nightmare.

_Jeremy is trapped in a dark room with no exit. The SQUIP’s voice is booming, telling him that he isn’t good enough…everything about Jeremy makes him want to die. Jeremy tries yelling out, calling for help, but no help ever comes._

_“You’re alone, Jeremy,” the SQUIP mocks. “Your only friend is gone. He’s not your friend anymore, you pushed him away. That was all you. Michael hates you. Nobody likes you…and nobody ever will.”_

_The sound of the SQUIP laughing fades into silence._

That’s when Jeremy wakes up gasping. He rolled over and checked his phone. 2:42 Am. No one is awake at this time…maybe except Michael. Jeremy and Michael had been slowly mending their friendship since the incident. Jeremy can’t forgive himself but Michael tries to convince them that they’re all good. Obviously Jeremy isn’t okay, evident of the frequent nightmares. He scrolls for his phone, going to Michael’s icon and calling him.

“Hello?”

Michael’s voice sounds sleepy and Jeremy curses himself. He woke Michael up.

“Hey, Michael. Sorry for waking you.” Jeremy tried to control his shaking voice.

“Mhm…you didn’t.”

Jeremy chuckles softly. “Yeah…hey…” he starts to talk but then bites his tongue. “You know what, it can wait. Never mind. I’ll just you see later.”

Michael noticed a pained tone of voice from Jeremy. “Jere? Hey, you okay?”

Jeremy swallowed. Should he risk telling Michael and risk ruining their new friendship? “Um…yeah. I’m okay.”

Michael was silent for a second before saying, “No, you’re not. What’s wrong?”

Jeremy felt his breath hitching and he tried to stop the tears from catching in his eyelashes. “Um…recently I’ve been having…” He swallowed the lump in his throat. “Uh…I can’t…”

“Hey, take your time. What is it?” Michael says softly.

Jeremy squeezes his eyes shut. “Every time I close my eyes…its voice is back.”

Michael’s breath was caught in his throat. “SQUIP?” he asked nervously.

“Uh…yeah. I’ve been having…frequent nightmares ever since the…incident.” Jeremy took a deep breath. “I’m in a dark room, alone. Its voice is booming, telling me I’m not good enough, that I should just…die.” His voice breaks. “It tells me that I have no one, that I lost my only friend…” Jeremy sniffed back the oncoming tears. “You. My only friend being you. I chased you away. That was all me. Michael I’m so sorry…” Jeremy breaks down and the tears fall down his face. His voice becomes clogged with the tears. “The things I said…the things I did…I’m so so sorry, Michael. I know you said we’re okay but we’re not. I ruined everything, like I always do. I always ruin everything. I should just…” He sniffled and took a deep breath. “I should just go. Sorry for waking you.”

He hung up before Michael could say anything. Michael sat in his bed, holding his phone to his ear, his heart racing. Jeremy sounded so scared and helpless on the phone. Michael couldn’t leave his best friend like that. Yes, Jeremy did some stupid and awful things to him, but Michael knew that it was the SQUIP, not Jeremy. His best friend would never hurt him intentionally. Michael jumped out of bed and ran down the stairs. Luckily, Jeremy just lived a few houses away so he made the five minute walk to Jeremy’s house. Michael pulled out the spare key to Jeremy’s house and walked inside, going upstairs to Jeremy’s room. Before he could knock on the door, he heard a high pitched noise coming from the room.

Jeremy was crying. No, he was sobbing.

Michael stood at the door, waiting to go in. He cracked the door open and saw Jeremy curled up on the bed, knees pulled to his chest, head in his lap. He couldn’t seem to catch his breath as the tears kept coming. His whole body was shaking with the sobs. Then his hands flew to his head.

“Go away,” he sobbed. “Get out of my HEAD!”

Michael took that instant to rush in and go to Jeremy. “Jere, hey, I’m here. It’s okay.”

Michael scooted Jeremy over and climbed into bed next to him. Jeremy sniffled and looked up. “M-Michael?”

Michael smiled and wiped the tears away. “Yeah, it’s me. It’s going to be okay.”

Jeremy’s head fell onto Michael’s shoulder, new sobs racking his entire body. “The voices never stop,” Jeremy muttered into Michaels’s shoulder. “I’m not good enough. Nobody even knows I exist. Things would be better if I just…left.” His voice dropped to a whisper and his body shuddered. Michael’s heart dropped. He wrapped his arm around Jeremy and held him close.

“Jeremy, listen to me.”

Jeremy lifted his head to Michael. His eyes were red from crying and he looked awful. Michael brushed his bangs out of his eyes.

“Jeremy, you are my best friend, always have been, always will be. What happened between us was bad, yes, but it’s over now. I know you never meant to hurt me. You were confused and its voice was in your head. But you didn’t let it consume you. You stopped it, right? And you made new friends, right? Christine, Rich, Jake, Chloe, Brooke, Jenna… They’re all your friends, right?” Michael placed his nose in Jeremy’s hair, trying to calm his nerves. “And you have me. You will always have me.”

Jeremy sniffled and hugged Michael, burying his face in Michael’s chest. Michael just held him. “It’s going to be okay, Jeremy.”

“The nightmares never go away.”

“How often do they happen?”

Jeremy let out a sigh and said, “Every night. Since the play. I can still feel its presence in my head, just waiting.”

Michael rubbed Jeremy’s back, tracing circles with his fingers. The movement seemed to calm Jeremy down enough for his breathing to return to normal. Jeremy eventually let go of Michael and sink back into his bed, his cheeks tearstained and red. Michael sighed, content with knowing Jeremy was better. He made to get out of bed when Jeremy reached for his hand.

“Please…”

Michael’s heart flipped as he climbed under the covers, placing Jeremy’s head on his chest. Michael twirled Jeremy’s curly hair with his fingers and Jeremy let out a content sigh. His hand moved to Jeremy’s back, tracing circles again. He rested his head on Jeremy’s head.

“Is this okay?” Jeremy muttered.

Michael squeezed his shoulder. “Yes, this is okay. Are you okay?”

Jeremy nodded slowly. “Yes…now.”

Michael kissed his forehead and snuggled closer to Jeremy. “Jere, will me being here calm the nightmares?”

Jeremy shrugged but didn’t say anything. Michael huffed but continued rubbing Jeremy’s back.

“Well I guess we’ll find out.”

Jeremy looked up at Michael. “You’ll stay?”

Michael nodded. “Yeah, just get some sleep, okay? I’m not going anywhere.”

Jeremy nodded and his head dropped onto Michael’s chest, letting out a sleepy sigh. Michael waited until Jeremy fell asleep and then he drifted off to sleep.

Michael woke up to Jeremy twitching. He was muttering in his sleep and his muscles were tense. Michael ran his fingers through Jeremy’s hair but that did nothing to calm Jeremy. His breathing quickened and he started to mutter, “No…please…let me go…Mic…come back…Michael…please…come…”

Michael noticed how Jeremy’s heartbeat quickened and his twitching became more pronounced. Finally, Jeremy spasmed and woke up, gasping. Tears were rolling down his cheeks. Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s waist and Jeremy flinched.

“Shh, Jere, it’s just me.”

Jeremy saw Michael and his face relaxed. “Michael…” He fell into Michael’s embrace, shuddering.

Michael rubbed his shoulder. “Hey, same nightmare?”

He felt Jeremy nod. “Was it worse?”

Nod. Michael sighed. “What can I do? I want to help.”

Jeremy let out a shuddering sigh and Michael felt a wetness on Jeremy’s cheeks. Michael placed his hands on Jeremy’s cheeks and lifted his face to face him.

“Hey, I’m here. What can I do? Tell me.”

Jeremy’s eyes closed as he tried to control his breathing. “M-make them g-go a-away,” he stuttered.

Michael pressed a kiss on Jeremy’s forehead, knowing that this was uncharted territory, but he thought it would calm him down. “I don’t know how. Know I’m here, Jeremy. It can’t hurt you anymore.”

Jeremy took a deep breath and looked into Michael’s eyes. “What if…”

Michael caressed Jeremy’s cheek. “What if what?”

“What if…one day…you realize that you’re better off without me? I don’t know if I…” He sniffled. “I can’t…not without you, Michael.”

Michael decided he was going to take a risk. He leaned forward and kissed Jeremy, caressing his cheek. Jeremy kissed back, relishing in the comfort of Michael’s embrace. Michael wrapped his arms around Jeremy’s waist and brought him close. Jeremy reached for Michael’s neck, pulling him closer. Michael broke away to breathe and he looked into Jeremy’s eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said breathlessly. “Ever.”

Jeremy nodded and kissed him again. Michael played with Jeremy’s hair, causing Jeremy to shudder. Michael pulled back.

“Are…are you okay?”

Jeremy nodded and smiled. “I want to be with you, Michael.” He took a deep breath. “I… _need_ to be with you.”

Michael laid down, pulling Jeremy with him so his head was on Michael’s chest. He placed his nose in Jeremy’s hair, rustling his curls. Jeremy shivered but wrapped his arms around Michael’s abdomen. Michael rubbed his shoulder.

“Try to get some rest, okay? I’m right here.”

Jeremy nodded and drifted off. Michael stayed up for a while making sure his nightmare stayed away. Once he was sure Jeremy was going to be okay, he left himself drift off, bringing Jeremy ever so closer.


End file.
